This blog post deals with the death of patients. If this brings up any worries or concerns, please reach out to someone or visit: https://www.lifeline.org.au/.
30 April 2020
It was not long ago that all placements had been cancelled. Thankfully the number of COVID-19 cases have been declining in Australia and some placement areas are now taking students again. I got the email yesterday that I would start placement in five day’s time (but only if certain criteria were met). At first I felt relieved that I had gotten a placement, which brought me one step closer to completing my degree.
Now, it’s sinking in a bit more. I got another email today about protocols for entering and exiting the hospital, and infection control measures that need to be taken. Although I won’t be in an area of the hospital where COVID-19 patients may be, it’s a little worrying to think what I could expose myself, my family and my patients to.
06 May 2020
I’ve been on placement for a few days now. So far, I’m loving working on this ward! I’m feeling a lot less nervous about the COVID-19 pandemic as I’m working on a designated ‘clean ward’ (a ward that doesn’t take any COVID-19 or suspected patients) and there is hand sanitiser everywhere. I’m also feeling a little safer because the number of COVID-19 cases has decreased so much. I’m lucky enough that the area I live in has very (VERY) few cases now.
When we were doing our ward orientation, the CDN warned us students to go straight home. If we needed to go to the shops at all, we should go home and get changed first, not because of the infection risk (because we’re a clean ward and everyone has been being very careful) but because some staff members had been abused by members of public. This was so disheartening.
I’d always felt proud to be a nursing student and to wear my uniform – as if it was saying ‘I’m here to help’. I just couldn’t believe that anyone would be yelling at someone or refusing to help any one of the amazing nurses I have worked with. I can understand that people may be fearful of catching COVID-19 as it can have devastating consequences but I think that we, as healthcare professionals, know that as well as anyone. And that someone would be rude to a nurse that could help them if they were to become ill … I just don’t know how to feel about it.
19th May 2020
I haven’t been writing as regularly as I should – being on placement and trying to study is super tiring. I’m feeling kind of grateful that we haven’t been allowed to work (at other healthcare facilities because of COVID-19) while on placement, otherwise I don’t know if I’d be able to do it. I know it’s not something that I should be complaining about because it’s about to become my new normal. I guess it’s just a matter of adjusting.
I guess placement has been a little bit up and down lately. On Friday there was a MET (medical emergency team or code blue) call and I scribed. The nurses were doing other things for the patient and the doctors were trying to figure out what was going on so I ended up being the scribe. Thankfully there was another student I’d been on placement with who was helping me collect all the information like vital signs and tests being done. I was super nervous but I think I did an okay job, even if it was only for five minutes. I came out of the MET feeling really proud of myself – that I’d contributed in that situation.
Later that same day, my first patient passed away. Over the weekend a second patient I had looked after passed away and on Monday night a third patient I had looked after passed away. They say it happens in threes. The death of my patients wasn’t something that really shocked me or scared me, they were palliative patients and I knew it was going to happen but I was quite sad when they passed away. For my first patient, I was privileged enough to help with her after care and I felt honored (the only way to describe it) to help her in that moment.
22nd May 2020
Today was my last day of placement. Last time I wrote I think I was definitely feeling some stress and sadness – mostly tired, I think [insert crying laughing face]. It’s safe to say I’m feeling much better (thanks to sleep) and more confident in my practice as a baby nurse. I’ve definitely learnt a lot during this placement in terms of clinical skills, my interactions with patients and colleagues. There’s still a lot I need to learn on my final placement but I can’t wait to finally become an RN!
I looked back at my previous entries and how worried I was about going into the hospital environment during this pandemic. I’m still worried with some of the restrictions lifting but I’m so relieved that our numbers have been so low. I can’t imagine how it must be in other countries. If things had been worse, I’m glad that I’m in a position where I could help in some way.
Placement can be hard sometimes. It’s just important to keep the positive experiences in mind during those times. And there are so many positives about nursing.
Daisy Azmi 